Dylan, Dylan, Dylan. Let’s introduce Dylan. This curly haired, bearded lad hailing from Colorado is our youngest and often most enthusiastic cheesemonger here at the Bedford Cheese Shop. When he’s not buying Star Wars curtains for his bedroom or practicing rowboating across wooden floors (it’s a thing…) he’s sitting around contemplating. Gastronomical contemplating. That’s right. He thinks about food all day. Like the rest of us. But Dylan likes to think about mustard. And here is what he has to say.
“Oh, hey, Dylan. I’m glad I caught you before you run off to your next Magic the Gathering Tournament. So, I hear you have this thing for mustard. Anything in particular standing out these days?”
First things first. Let me apologize if there is any weird formatting going on with WordPress. When I am writing these things, I use FUN FEATURES like bold. Or italics. And I center images in the middle of the post. And sometimes I do this cool thing where a trail of cascading stars follows the cursor as you click around.
But somewhere…in between writing and publishing…an internet gremlin literally destroys everything I had just done. Everything is just plain jane text…unaligned….hideous. So if anyone could tell me how to make this ridiculous website work, I’d be much obliged.
P.S. This whole intro was written in rainbow colors, bold, underlined, and if you unfocus your eyes a little it turns into a picture of Ted Danson milking a goat. But you couldn’t see that, now could you. Ridiculous internet.
OKKKKKKKKKKK. Onto serious business.
So last week, I interviewed Austin about his grocery passion. THIS WEEK I interviewed Stephanie about her favorite grocery things. I recommend clicking play on the embedded video and reading away…
Austin is our resident Southern imported soda enthusiast. He enjoys sodas produced out of the country and comparing and contrasting the subtle differences between drinks such as “Red Lemonade” (from the green hills of Ireland) or “Fentiman’s Dandelion & Burdock Soda” (from the beautiful bogs of England). I decided to sit down for a minute with Austin and try to figure out which soda is superior to them all.
Oh. Hey there. Didn’t think I’d see you back here again. Yes, I may have taken a two month hiatus from cheese blogging to conduct extensive research for my new book: “How Short Can I Make These Jean Shorts Before They Get Offensive?” (Answer: Really short…) but never fear. I HAVE RETURNED.
Ah, friends, it’s that time of year when Summer gives way to Fall. The constant uncomfortable hellish heat of August gives way to the gentle folds of warm September days and cool Autumn nights. You start fantasizing about your favorite striped wooly socks and begin thinking about things like cooking a hearty stew while wearing a turtle neck or drinking a bottle of red wine as you try to decide between eating chicken pot pie or just…drinking another bottle of red wine. The leaves change colors and the whiskey-enduced desperation of winter hasn’t yet arrived. I think Enya said it best, when she uttered the famous words: “if all you told was turned to gold // if all you dreamed were new // imagine sky high above // in Caribbean blue.”
Gurlfriend! I love those seahorse earrings. Call me!
Ok. The blog has been super lame recently. Like. There is absolutely no information on this stupid website anymore. I got super disheartened by Google Analytics which says that visits to the blog are 88% DOWN from this time last month. I mean. Seriously. Dropping the ball left and right. So I’m sorry! I promise I’ll get back into it. But you guys know how it goes – summer time rolls around. You don’t want to do much but figure out how to do your job outside (cheesy bake sale on Bedford Avenue anyone?)…
Anyways. We do have something exciting to announce though. DAH DAH DAH DAH DAAAAHHHH DADA DAH DAHHHH DAHHHHHHH. (That was Vanna White music…)
What a good dad!
Father’s day is coming up! Woaaahhhh totally radtastic.
So here at the Bedford Cheese Shop, we had a think tank, got together and figured that we should do what we do best: make some sort of gift basket in honor of DADS. How fun!
This basket has everything in it. Seriously everything.
1 Biellese Cacciatorini (sausage! yeah!)
1 bag of Liddabit Caramel Corn
1 tin of luscious sardines
1 package Petite Toasts
1 Michel Cluizel chocolate bar
1 Cadbury’s Milk Bar
1 Jar of awesome Colman’s English Mustard
1 small format goat’s milk cheese (go goats!)
1/3 lb. of Lincolnshire Poacher
1/3 lb. of Scharfe Maxx
All this for $55. Sick. And we can arrange shipping. So get over here and get some last minute treats for good ol’ Dad. You lazy Williamsburg tools…too busy drinking PBR and squeezing into leggings instead of pants…..thinking about ironic tattoos of Smurfs dressed up like Depeche Mode or whatever. BUY YOUR DAD A GIFT BASKET. He’ll be ever so happy and might pay your credit card bill….hooray!
So I have a series of cheese videos and things to show all of you. They should entertain. The first is courtesy of Mike – our resident musician – who claims that this is a “statement about Dutch cultural stereotypes.” OH ART. So……dumb sometimes.
The second is about the king of cheese. Parmigiano Reggiano. Yeah, France. I said it. Italian cheese rules. So deal.
Et voila. Le pamplemousse. This must be what heaven is like. Fat, hungry, and wearing great hats.
I’m writing a quick entry to give all of our loyal blog followers a SPECIAL DEAL on a BCS Spring Treat we have prepared for you.
Right now we have a decadent Spring Picnic Basket on sale. It’s awesome. In this pre-made basket, you get:
- Fra’Mani Pate Campagnola (Between a country style and a mousse, this stuff is so good. Garlicky, peppery, and porky.)
- A Lazy Lady Buckhill Sunrise (A gooey all-natural cow’s milk from Vermont.)
- Slice of Lincolnshire Poacher (An English cheddar with no bandages. So nekkid!)
- Petit Toasts (Crunch.)
- A Michel Cluizel chocolate bar (Rich. Decadent. Aphrodisiac?)
- A jar of cornichons (So little and pickled.)
All this for $33!
Oh wait. No it isn’t. HEAR THIS! If you come in and mention the blog you get this picnic basket for only
Yeah. That’s right. Only $30. Look at that! Because you guys love the blog we give you a discount. So….come in, mention the blog, tell us how funny you think we are, and you get a discount. Isn’t that awesome! The internet is so cool some times. Ok, so we better see you soon. Byeeeeeee.
Oh, what? TWO POSTS IN TWO DAYS?!?!?! That’s right. Even though it may be 85 degrees and sunny outside, I have a hankering to sit inside and type. In a windowless room with a stainless steel table. How very “Bladerunner” of me.