Ok. The blog has been super lame recently. Like. There is absolutely no information on this stupid website anymore. I got super disheartened by Google Analytics which says that visits to the blog are 88% DOWN from this time last month. I mean. Seriously. Dropping the ball left and right. So I’m sorry! I promise I’ll get back into it. But you guys know how it goes – summer time rolls around. You don’t want to do much but figure out how to do your job outside (cheesy bake sale on Bedford Avenue anyone?)…

Anyways. We do have something exciting to announce though. DAH DAH DAH DAH DAAAAHHHH DADA DAH DAHHHH DAHHHHHHH. (That was Vanna White music…)

What a good dad!

Father’s day is coming up!  Woaaahhhh totally radtastic.

So here at the Bedford Cheese Shop, we had a think tank, got together and figured that we should do what we do best: make some sort of gift basket in honor of DADS.  How fun!

This basket has everything in it.  Seriously everything.

1 Biellese Cacciatorini (sausage! yeah!)

1 bag of Liddabit Caramel Corn

1 tin of luscious sardines

1 package Petite Toasts

1 Michel Cluizel chocolate bar

1 Cadbury’s Milk Bar

1 Jar of awesome Colman’s English Mustard

1 small format goat’s milk cheese (go goats!)

1/3 lb. of Lincolnshire Poacher

1/3 lb. of Scharfe Maxx

All this for $55.  Sick.  And we can arrange shipping.  So get over here and get some last minute treats for good ol’ Dad.  You lazy Williamsburg tools…too busy drinking PBR and squeezing into leggings instead of pants…..thinking about ironic tattoos of Smurfs dressed up like Depeche Mode or whatever.  BUY YOUR DAD A GIFT BASKET.  He’ll be ever so happy and might pay your credit card bill….hooray!

So I have a series of cheese videos and things to show all of you.  They should entertain.  The first is courtesy of Mike – our resident musician – who claims that this is a “statement about Dutch cultural stereotypes.”  OH ART.  So……dumb sometimes.

The second is about the king of cheese. Parmigiano Reggiano.  Yeah, France.  I said it.  Italian cheese rules.  So deal.

I probably should have warned you that you were going to need to be a little stoned. Or a lot stoned. Or be willing to fastforward. Now onto Parm…

Yay! Look at all that cheese! Expect a post tomorrow about Its-It. Because we have all of them at the shop. Yeah. Freak out. Ok bye.

…because they got all fancy on us.

Look at this private party we catered in Soho! We can do this for you too. Just ask nicely and we deliver.

Bedford Cheese Shop: Professional Party Cheese Animals.

OMG. This is like Gossip Girl shit!

This was the cheese table.  One of the many fun “stations” present at this penthouse party.

Nice face, Amy.

It was really hot.  I spilled tapenade all over the front of the table cloth 30 seconds before guests started showing up.  I don’t think anyone noticed because there were magnums of champagne everywhere….

Fancyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Ready for my close up.

There were assorted jams, tapenades, fruits, spreads, and HAND WRITTEN SIGNS.  With minimal typos.  Or…mis-spellings?  I don’t know which is the right word here…

Anywho, just wanted to brag that we are awesome and can cater a better party than you.  HA.  Ok.  Back to “work.”

Hello children of the world.

We have another announcement for you blog followers.  Here at the Bedford Cheese Shop we present you with a seasonal treat – a pre-made Mother’s Day Gift Box!

Whatwhat whaaaaaaat?

So awesome!  If you need to grab something quick and want to have a special day picnic with your mom (or moms. It is the 21st century after all…) we have just the solution for you.

In this stylish wooden cheese box, you receive:

- 1/4 wheel of Brillat Savarin

- 1/3 lb of Comte

- 1/3 lb of Midnight Moon

- a Michel Cluizel chocolate bar

- a package of Petit Toasts

- a 3 pack of NUTELLA TO GO!!!!

- and a fantastic Goat Soap!

Wheeeeee!

All this for $50 and the undying love of your mother.  For at least one day.  You are totally a shoe-in for the will.

See you guys at the shop!

She was such a sassy mom.

Et voila. Le pamplemousse. This must be what heaven is like. Fat, hungry, and wearing great hats.

Hey guys!

I’m writing a quick entry to give all of our loyal blog followers a SPECIAL DEAL on a BCS Spring Treat we have prepared for you.

Right now we have a decadent Spring Picnic Basket on sale.  It’s awesome.  In this pre-made basket, you get:

- Fra’Mani Pate Campagnola (Between a country style and a mousse, this stuff is so good.  Garlicky, peppery, and       porky.)

- A Lazy Lady Buckhill Sunrise (A gooey all-natural cow’s milk from Vermont.)

- Slice of Lincolnshire Poacher (An English cheddar with no bandages. So nekkid!)

- Petit Toasts (Crunch.)

- A Michel Cluizel chocolate bar (Rich. Decadent. Aphrodisiac?)

- A jar of cornichons (So little and pickled.)

All this for $33!

Oh wait. No it isn’t.  HEAR THIS!  If you come in and mention the blog you get this picnic basket for only

$30!!!!!!!!!

Yeah.  That’s right.  Only $30.  Look at that!  Because you guys love the blog we give you a discount.  So….come in, mention the blog, tell us how funny you think we are, and you get a discount.  Isn’t that awesome!  The internet is so cool some times.  Ok, so we better see you soon.  Byeeeeeee.

Oh, what?  TWO POSTS IN TWO DAYS?!?!?!  That’s right.  Even though it may be 85 degrees and sunny outside, I have a hankering to sit inside and type.  In a windowless room with a stainless steel table.  How very “Bladerunner” of me.

Yup. This is what our office looks like.

Anyways, I’m back with another round of Cheesepinions, because I forced everyone to give me their opinion on cheeses the other day and I have a lot of dairy information to process.  I also did something different this week, which was actually participate in one of the many silly blog activities that I make everyone else do.  So.  Today.  Get ready.  It’s MY VERY OWN CHEESEPINIONS.  Yes, that’s right.  Chris, the blogmaster, is actually giving his opinion on cheese – just to prove that I actually know a thing or two and prove that I can do other things apart from subtly and sarcastically mock my coworkers (although that is a special gift I possess).

So, for this round of Cheesepinions, I want all y’all to hear me blab on about one of the most seasonally appropriate and delicious cheeses I have had in a long time: Tomme de Bordeaux.

Tomme de Bordeaux is so f'ing good.

Tomme de Bordeaux is the perfect cheese for springtime.  It’s like the Carnaval of Cheeses. It’s big, bold, and full of tropical French spices, like cayenne, Juniper berries, and rosemary  (ooh la la!).  I would equate it to the most glittery parade float around full of beautiful, ambiguously multi-ethnic, thong and feather wearin’ goats.  Dancing.  To disco.  It’s dense and luscious with just enough goaty kick to keep it interesting.  And the herbs pair perfectly with cold wines – sparkly, whites, or rose.

To keep the party going, I would pair this cheese with a dry Spanish cava, some Brooklyn Brine Moroccan Beans, an Amy’s Baguette and a Creminelli Sopressatta.  The ultimate picnic.  Come over and see me some time…  This cheese is pretty intense, so I want something dry and bubbly to cleanse my palate so that I could make green bean and sopressatta mini-sammies.  I don’t want anything to overpower or compete with the cheese, just compliment and keep it exciting.  Plus, it’s French goat cheese season and everything tastes just parfait at this time and date.

Welp.  I think I just gave everyone enough culinary and descriptor overload for the day.  Sorry, I just got really excited about this cheese and the image of me eating it in the South of France.  On a boat.  With Beyonce.  Snickering about something totally bougie, like how Lindsay Lohan is being held together by scabies and foundation….Or politics.  But probably not politics (sorry, it’s not how I roll).

We love you.

Ok guys!  See you next time!  Love you!  XOXO!

…but we also sell a delicious variety of charcuterie!  Go Charlotte, it’s your birthday, we’re gonna eat serrano like it’s your birthday….

On the dawn of a new presidency, one that advocates for hope and change, it is inspiring to see someone doing just that.  One of our good neighbors, a man named Jos brought by some of his latest creations, fresh from his kitchen on the South Side of Williamsburg.  Now, if Barack Obama could get everyone to make cheese at home, particularly cheese this good, we would be doing pretty well.  This cheese was made in the style of a St. Marcellin, a French cow’s milk disc of goo.  The only difference was that this cheese was raw, illegal and from only a couple of hours upstate.  Thank’s Jos, it tasted good.

A few weeks ago Amy and I were at our favorite beer bar in the neighborhood, Spuyten Duyvil, and we met a real beer-maven.  We began discussing beers and then veered in the direction of cheese.  As it turns out she is as crazy about beer as we are about cheese (well and beer).  On her website, beerforchicks.com she voted us best place to find accompaniments for your beer and we wanted to say thanks.  It’s pretty cool, Williamsburg is well represented on her Best Of list.  We even have similar favorite picks for best beer of the year, hers a Thierez mine the Fantome Saison.

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It’s the holidays and since the economy is pretty hopeless at this point we’ve decided to create some holiday baskets to fit various budgets.  It’ll also make your holiday shopping absurdly easy.  We are offering three different baskets the $35, $50 and $75 varieties.  The $35 basket will get you a pair of lovely cheeses, some pesto, crackers and a candy, the $50 is the same plus two more cheeses and the $75 features all of the above plus some delicious chutney and more candy!  We’ll also include descriptions and the whole thing comes in a very travel friendly wicker basket.  Frankly, I am thinking of buying one for every member of my family.  It may be a recession but that doesn’t mean we should have to give up our dairy habits.

(can you smell it?)